look back.

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,

I was senseless and ignorant.

I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

You guide with your counsel,

and afterward, you will take me into glory.

Whom do I have in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire but you.

My flesh and heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:21-26

That passage is on repeat in my mind all day. I don't think I have ever feasted on the Word of God before, but I would say I am feasting. I know it is the one thought in the myriad of thoughts that rings completely true. "And afterward, you will take me into glory." Ah, that hits at my core. Isn't it crazy that we go from glory to glory even when we don't feel like it?

Something my amazing, wise discipler shared with us in our past time together was you can't measure growth week by week or even month by month. She told us about a story Bill Johnson shared in one of his sermons. Bill's daughter became obsessed with growing, and every day, she would come up to him and ask him to measure her to see if she had grown taller than the day before. At some point, Bill stopped her and told her that she wasn't going to be different than the day before. Growth takes time. This picture parallels to how we try and measure our growth spiritually. How often do you think back to last week and try to measure how "better" you are? Or even the last month or season? 

I look back a week. I look back a season. The same thought comes to my mind: "Shoot, I was better off then." I have seemingly digressed. However, God stops me and gently prompts me to look back a year, two, three, four... And I am blown away. I almost brought to tears by the faithfulness of God. I have been transformed, not by my doing but by the Spirit of God. My spiritual growth is CRAZY, but I didn't even realize the gravity of what was happening. I think that's the way it's supposed to be. We are to have our eyes so focused on God that he has to tell us to look over our shoulder to see where we've come from. It's a step-by-step obedience, filled with faith and eyes locked on Jesus', kind of thing.

Psalm 73: 21-26 really illustrates my journey with God. I was a brute beast, and then I was led into glory! And the crazy thing is there is more and more because I am going from glory to glory. One day, God will tell me to look back on this time of my life, and I will laugh and probably cry. I will laugh and rejoice again at the faithfulness and kindness of God.